hair time = time together

Lately, Hope & I have been hearing a lot more comments than usual about her hair.  Without necessarily meaning to, some people are sounding a bit more critical about her hairstyles and our hair care routines--if I have reset the style, they seem to say something about how I always have her hair different (which actually isn't true since I tend to favor longer-wearing styles), or always popular are comments about the length of time it must take to style her hair (and how patient she must be to let me do that, as if it is for me).  A lady told Hope just today how she is so lucky that I take care of her hair.  I couldn't help but wonder whether this woman has ever said that to other little girls... for example, maybe a little white girl whose mom is also white, or maybe a little black girl whose mother is also black.  I wouldn't ever want Hope to think of my care of her in that way--she is not lucky that I take care of her... I am blessed to be able to take care of her!

Other mothers (you know, the ones people aren't noticing all the time) take care of their children's hair without anyone giving it a second thought.  Sort of like they give their children baths, help them learn to brush their teeth, wash their little faces & hands, etc.  Hair care is something all moms do, not just moms of children who happen to be black.  But, black hair care is definitely different because the hair needs are different.  Not better or worse, just different.  Yes, it takes longer to properly care for Hope's hair than it would if my daughter was white like her mother.  And, no... we don't mind that! 

I do understand that people have some curiosity about us where Hope's hair is concerned.  The most common thing they wonder is if I do Hope's hair myself.  To be honest, this notion that anyone other than Hope's mother would be the one doing her hair cracks me up!  She's my daughter... of course I do her hair.  Again I do find myself wondering whether other moms (you know, the ones who are the same color as their daughters) would ever be asked, "Do you do her hair?"  I am Hope's mom... it never occurred to me not to learn how to properly care for her hair.  It's not like I'm going to "hire out" my daughter's hair care (would those other moms?).

So, here's the thing people don't realize.  It's the name of this post:  hair time = time together.  How could this be a bad thing?  The time we spend together on hair day is actually pleasant--we enjoy it and we like being together.  It is the stuff bonding is made of! 

The other neat thing is how involved Hope is getting in the decisions about her hair.  She contributes more and more to choosing what style she will wear.  She also chooses the beads for her hair if we'll be using them.  She is really trying to learn how to load the beads onto the beader, too.  Recently, she chose exactly how she wanted her hair to look for Halloween, down to selecting the exact bead pattern she wanted for her braids. 

I look forward to continuing to spend this precious time with my daughter for many years to come!  I believe I am helping her appreciate her curls when I show her that I appreciate them myself. 

I will never be able to (nor could I even try to) convince all those curious people to understand and appreciate the reasons why we do what we do to care for Hope's hair and how I really feel about it (blessed, not burdened).  What I will do, instead, is focus on being sure Hope knows.  I believe she does, for if you were to ask her why her mommy takes care of her hair, she would tell you, "Because she loves me!"

p.s. Coming soon... how Hope's hair looked for her very first school picture day!