Gotcha Day

You may or may not be familiar with the term "Gotcha Day."  Chances are, if you are a member of the adoption community, as we are, then you know that Gotcha Day is the term many families choose to celebrate the day they were united with their adopted child.  If you've never heard this term before, now you get it, right?  Gotcha Day means parents can say to their child, "That is the day we got you!" 

So, if you haven't guessed it yet, we are getting ready to celebrate Hope's Gotcha Day.  Tomorrow, in fact!  This is the 3rd Anniversary of the day we finally met our daughter, Hope, in person.  The day we were united with her in Ethiopia.

Obviously, if you are reading this, then you probably know our family or at least our family's story.  So it is no surprise to anyone when I mention that this day 3 years ago we were also meeting Eli for the first time.  You may be wondering, does this Gotcha Day make me sad?  Well... by God's Grace, the answer is not really.  You already know that we needed to move Eli to a new home, and that decision was best for him and our other children as well.  This year has already seen it's share of sadness, more than it's fair share in fact.  So, instead of feeling sad that he is no longer here, or dwelling on the loss, I am choosing to allow God to fill my heart with other things.  Like peace, knowing that we did the obedient thing in bringing him out of Ethiopia, and the best thing in letting him go.  And like gratitude, that we still have our son Geoffrey and our daughter Hope.  And, even wonder that God chose to use us to accomplish His will for Eli, even though we were asked to do something that turned out to be so difficult for us.

For Hope, the celebration has already begun.  The other day, when I explained the idea of Gotcha Day to Hope, she became very excited!  While I did have to explain how Gotcha Day is different from a birthday, Hope quickly understood the reason for the celebration, and she just could not wait for Gotcha Day to come.  In fact, we ended up making a paper chain to help her count down the days! 

In talking with Hope about how to celebrate this special occasion, she did ask if she could have a cake.  So, of course, our Gotcha Day tomorrow will include cake.  Earlier today, Hope & I baked the cake together (a pink cake, of course!) and later we will add the frosting together as well.  Her dad presented her with flowers a few minutes ago (the first bouquet Hope has received... cute!), which she loved!  She did also say, of her flowers, "These are mine, not Mommy's!?!"  She was just so tickled to get those flowers!

The collage at the top of this post is something I had made for Hope for her Gotcha Day.  The photos include ones of each of us holding her for the very first time.  Also included are some pictures taken in the region where Hope was born in Ethiopia. 

Because I respect Hope's ownership of her story, I rarely share with people details about her past, including her birth family or the reason she was available for adoption.  Hope does have a beautiful story, a story of God's protection and purpose, but it is not mine... it is hers.  So, I hold on to her story for her, so that she can tell it herself one day if she chooses.  I do tell Hope's story to her, picture a "Once Upon a Time" sort of way, and she is aware that the little baby girl I am speaking of when I tell her story is herself.  I can say that the young girl photographed with us, and the beautiful woman pictured in the collage, are both an important part of Hope's story.  We are forever grateful to them for the care they gave our daughter.

I can remember the moments before Hope was brought into the room for the first time.  We had been at the orphanage for about an hour already, asking questions of the director, and waiting to meet the kids for the first time.  I was so nervous.  When the nanny placed Hope in my arms, she was crying.  I like telling Hope that part of our story because it is real.  She was a ten-month old baby at the time.  It was normal that she would cry when leaving the arms of someone familiar.  But I can say with all honesty, that our bond was natural and effortless after that moment.  It was as if our hearts already knew each other.  I know I am Hope's Mother, in every way, and she knows it as well. 

We are a regular family, who came to be together in an unusual way.  Adoption is certainly very close to our hearts, but it is not something we think about every moment of our days.  That's because we are just us!  A mom & a dad, and our son and our daughter.  Our kids are both with us for different reasons (one by birth and one by adoption), but they are both our kids!  But we are forever thankful that God brought us to the path of adoption, because without that, we would not have our Hope!

Hope is a remarkable girl.  She has a very joyful spirit.  When she was a baby, we used to call her "Happy Hopie," in fact.  Hope is the sort of person who just draws others to herself, and I know God has something very special planned for her future.  While I earlier stated that we don't think about adoption every moment of the day, I can say that I am always aware, in those quiet moments, of how different life would have been without this particular girl being here.  Thankful is not a big enough word!

Just the other day, Hope was having a conversation with a gentleman she knows at the Y, and she started telling him about the cake (since we were just heading to the store to buy ingredients).  I asked her to share the reason why we were going to be making a cake.  She enthusiastically exclaimed "GOTCHA DAY!"  At this point in the conversation, I needed to explain what "Gotcha Day" is.  I very simply stated that Gotcha Day was the celebration of the day that we adopted Hope from Ethiopia.  After leaving our conversation, this man was so moved that he sent out an email to the staff describing my daughter and her joyful spirit.  Another staff member shared his words (to my surprise!) with me later in the week.  About Hope, he said, "When you see Hope, you will understand why Hope is not merely her name but her destiny."  I couldn't say it better myself.

I am honored to be your Mommy.  Happy Gotcha Day, Hope!

The last thing I will share here is a short video of Hope talking about her upcoming Gotcha Day.  Precious would be the word to describe this!  (Listen for her pronunciation of the word 'Ethiopia.')